Monday, 29 October 2012

Topik hari ini: Rindu (Rindu? Kenapa?)

Assalamualaikum w.b.t 

Why the title of my topic? Well, a lot of reasons actually.

First, I'm done with my exams. I tak tau pasal exam aku, tapi aku akan menerima keputusan yang seadanya. Aku telah berusaha, kini aku hanya boleh bertawakal. (Amin....)

Second, my family attended my brother's graduation ceremony. Ya laa, aku mana tak jealous, dah habis belajar, aku pon tak leh tunggu nak grad. (ikut schedule belajar, jangan repeat). Lepas aku habis exam, aku takde apa nak buat. Kawan-kawan yang lain, hostel merekaorang jauh dari hostel aku (when i mean far, it's literally VERY far, sampai aku terpaksa naik bas lagi). Yes, I feel very lonely, and aku rindu sangat-sangat kat kawan-kawan dan keluarga aku. Hence, the title of the post :). Hope that answers the question.

But then, I started questioning myself. Why be lonely when you have Allah S.W.T? I've been watching videos by Aiman Azlan, Mat Luthfi and Anwar Hadi. By watching their videos, i found out my definition of loneliness was shallow, and i found out that i am surrounded my circles and circles of friends (it's just me who don't go out much, safety comes first for me :D) Through their videos, I learnt a lot, A LOT,  about Islam, and the new lessons that i have obtained by watching their videos,i hope that i will be able to apply them slowly. What's the point of rushing when you can actually do something slowly but not only surely, but properly as well?

I thank Allah S.W.T for the blessings and the challenges that He had poured onto me, as i believe one day all of them will be able to mould me into a stronger and mature person. Many people had said about my attitude change. Well, to those who said that I have changed, thank you very much and Alhamdulillah. However, i think of those of just small steps towards improving my life, and i am still not sure of the challenges that will be facing me in the future. However, i will make sure that i will face them with more gusto and, well, more enthusiasm maybe? 

Thank you to Aiman Azlan, Mat Luthfi and Anwar Hadi for the hilarious yet inspirational videos, and also to the blogs of Aiman, Anwar and also Inche Gabbana (i hope it's not a typing error) for their posts. Ketawa tak henti-henti baca blog merekaorang sampai aku terjatuh dari kerusi (no, serious. ada sekali aku tercekik sambil minum sup aku masa aku baca blog Inche Gabbana).

Till the next blogging entry! ;)

P.S. : Selamat Hari Raya Aidiladha to all Muslim brothers and sisters around the world :)

Sunday, 21 October 2012

Studynwerrrr??!!!! (Really??)

Sepatutnya aku ulangkaji untuk exam this coming Monday, but then.... Aduuuuuuuuuhaaaaaaaaaai (Over dramatic sangat), banyak sangat temptations kat luar (Bukan kat luar pon, depan PC boleh tahan banyak gak. Tengok si penulis yang sedang memblog ni! Tsk tsk tsk...)

Yes, I am having finals next week. Hai, lumrah kehidupan. Bila cube study, pulak ade banyak temptation yang sedang menunggu si pelajar yang ingin berstudy. Cakap nak study at least 4 hours, last2 study 2 hours. The other 2 kat mane? (Buat muka tak tau). At least for now, I am focused on what I want to do. I have learnt the art of filtering people out. Lepas exam, tengok laa.
Lately, I've been reading and following this blog (My seniors were reading and raving about his blog). Hmm.. Boleh dikatakan aku tersentuh hati bila membaca blognya. The author kind of made me question myself whether I am doing anything useful for my life and my future. Adekah perkara2 yang aku buat selama ini akan memberi kesan yang mendalam untuk masa depan nanti? Adekah aku cukup memuhasabahkan diri? Memuhasabahkan diri untuk menjadi insan yang lebih baik?

I admit, that I have tried my best in everything that I do. But sometimes when the results come out, the people who put less effort in studying dapat markah lebih tinggi dari aku. Memang pun terasa envious sikit, tapi bila difikirkan balik, I came up with a conclusion that buat mase ni, that particular quiz or exam bukan rezeki aku untuk dapat markah yang bagus......lagi. Kemungkinan exam yang akan datang markah aku akan lebih baik lagi. Berusaha, solat, doa dan beristighfar, InsyaAllah, sumenyer akan dipermudahkan. Amin......

Till my next blogging entry! ;-)

Monday, 17 September 2012

Keep Calm And Stay Calm, Everything Will Be Fine

(Credits to Mum for the wise saying, she always believed in me)

I have to say, these past few weeks have been challenging for me. What with my test results which weren't good, and also other problems that came around. I have to admit, patience is not one of my virtues. I can only be patient for a certain amount of time. I have other things to think about. I am not being cynical, but I just don't have the time going around sabotaging other people. What good does it do? Yeah, it provides you with a certain amount of satisfaction, but after that? Will it affect the other person? If the other person goes about doing their own businesses, couldn't you think for a while and think that maybe you should too? And one more thing, trust. Oh yeah, trust. I know that I don't go talking behind people's back. But if the other person seems to trust their own good friend what they are talking about you (even though it's a good white lie), what else on earth can you do? Pujuk, tak nak dengar. Dah mintak maaf pun masih camtu. Solution: Leave them alone then. 

Why am I talking about this? Well, let's just repeat the same thing as above. A lot has happened to me. People that you think you look highly upon and trust starts backstabbing you behind your back.The worst thing is when they join the other person in backstabbing you. Then you would realise  that person is a double-headed snake.  I know I will not be able to win against these guys, so I just need to leave them alone and go around doing my own stuffs. What I can only do (for now) is just keep my head down and do my job (thank you, Marco Pierre White, for the wise saying). I am having troubles with my studies. Oh God, as much as I don't want to admit it, I have to. I thought I was able to understand the stuffs, until I got my results. My reaction: (Head shakes). Gotta work harder. (Saying it is easier than doing it though, what with my super slow head of understanding)

This is nice quote from Eminem:
"Dealing with backstabbers, there was one thing I learned. They're only powerful when you got your back turned".

Pray, and study well and smart (even though it'll take me ages to understand), and I will achieve my dreams. InsyaAllah

All of these shall be motto, FOR LIFE!!

A song that will get me through the challenges and get me to my dream :

Till  my next blogging entry ;-)

Saturday, 23 June 2012

Rejoice! It's the holidays (For one month, that is)

     Ok, holidays, yes, it's the holidays. However, it doesn't feel that way for me. I don't know why, I just am  not in the holiday mood. I am dreading the worst for next sem, which will be my 1st year 1st sem degree. Everyone of my friends are telling me how terrible the lives of degree students are, and the only thing that I say to myself is "Oh God, please prepare for the worst." I cannot be sooo relaxed as I was in Foundation, so I better prepare to sacrifice sooo many things. Worst, I'll be staying on my own starting next sem, and I'll be living on a budget, and also there's a lot of temptations out there. Haihhhhh.....
     Gosh, I need all the strengths to overcome the next sem. For sure, I'm having repeat phobia, and I'm scared as anything. I have to really know my priorities (I know my priorities all right) and I just need to be on the straight and narrow. Well, I do not need to worry, because I have family and friends who understands me. However, at the end of the day, I am the one who will determine my own life and happiness.Whatever the results are at the end of the day, the results will be on me in the end.
    Till the next blogging entry! :-)

Wednesday, 9 May 2012


Don't ask me what's with the title. The word was just some random stuff that popped into my head.

Yeah baby, I did well for my Accounting exam. Freaking happy. But then, 2 weeks from now, another mid-term. Then week 11, presentation. 2 weeks more, finals. God bless me, (and everyone else) hopefully I'll be able to cope and not be a zombie. Endless streams of exams and assignments, eh? Wait until degree :)

Actually, I really hate it when everyone I know start comparing themselves to me. If they found out they did better, they'll find ways and means to make me look lousier then them. Sure, they will say , "Oh, I pity you. Just study harder". Their faces, however, changed and I can sense that they are not really honest when they say that way. I am not even surprised that they even laughed at me behind my back. What I can only say to myself: "You may be able to laugh at me now, but we'll see who'll be laughing at the end of the game. Later". With that said, I am able to go on and am more determined to study work even harder. Yeah, yeah, you're better than me. But I don't owe to anybody, I am working for myself, and I don't ask for ANYTHING if I score in my exam. Hah, I'll make you ashamed of yourself when I see you in 10 to 20 years time.

I know that I am made of sterner stuff. They may think I am fragile and vulnerable. Yes, I know that my brothers are untouchable as they have achieved a lot. However, they have forgotten that I am just starting to come out. So, watch out for me!

My prayer to God every night before I sleep:
"Please make me stronger to face all these challenges, please make me stronger so that I'll be able to achieve my dreams. Make me focus on the real stuffs and not on the petty things around that are out there just to annoy me."

I'd like to share these quotes from Walt Disney and Audrey Hepburn.  I often remember them when I find myself facing a hurdle in my life. I do hope you guys will find these quotes helpful.

"All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them."- Walt Disney
"Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'!"- Audrey Hepburn


Till my next blogging entry! ;)

Tuesday, 8 May 2012

What Will Be in Store for Me????

Every year, there sure will be loads of crazy stuffs awaiting for me in so many ways more than one. Some of them are nice, while a good number of them are surprising. This year too had its' share of surprises (for 5 months, soooooo far).

My wishlist? Oh yeah, not only are they in loads, I believe they're in bucket loads as well. I want to be able to bake a cake for Raya this year, seeing both my brothers coming back for their summer holidays, survivng the next sem for 1st year and hoping to get through so as not to repeat. Hmmm...yes, that should be the ultimate wishlist (other than to be able to lose weight and fit into the kurungs and kebayas come this year's Raya).

I am just hoping that I'll be able to cope myself with the challenges coming in this year. I've got to remind myself that this isn't high school anymore, this is university life. Of course la kan, no cikgu to help anymore. Tolong pun bukannya banyak jugak, a lil' bit here and there, and that's it. (Basically, macam from the time we merangkak masa baby dulu, only this time we are walking and plough through a huge amount of books in the library).

Which reminds me of the lady that I admire right now and for years to come. And boy, does she know the meaning of hardship, especially one who is constantly covering breaking news from the EU  to Malaysia.

 The TV3 London correspondent, Haliza Hashim

This lady has been reporting Malaysian news happening in London (sometimes the UK and EU) for over 20 YEARS. So she had been saying "Haliza Hashim, TV3, London" for all those times? Yeah, she was the one reporting for Ashraf Rossli if I'm not mistaken (Pardon me if I am wrong). As a reporter, she had to endure a lot of challenges and see where she got herself into? A successful life, family-wise and career-wise. I may not be like her, but yes, I do want to have a successful story like hers when I reach her age.

Till the next blogging entry :)